Porn. Fuck. Wow. Talk about a necessary evil. Can you imagine how many psychopaths would be walking the streets if porn didn't exist? I'm sure there have been studies done about how it relieves stress...I get too caught up in the production to really pay attention to the, uh stories. I mean, on the exceptionally cheap ones, you get so hyper-aware of the fact that these people are literally making a MOVIE and that these are SETS and you start to wonder: did they have catering? Are there union rules about the limit number of erections per actor per shooting day? How much are the girls paid? How about the guys? Do they always speak to each other in super seductive voices, even crew and off-camera?
Imagine these phrases used in foreplay. If necessary, just repeat them in you super-sexiest voice:
"What's the f-stop?"
"Boom in shot."
"Marker, mark it!"
"I'm going to make this a one-take!"
"How are the levels?"
"What's the focus?"
"I dunno what that is...maybe it's feedback on her mic? Go check her lav, it might not be clipped on properly....better borrow some camera tape."
"What happened to all the camera tape?"
"There's a jam. Get the next mag."
"What's your ETA?"
"Kirk we don't have TIME for this SHOT! Change the lens and go for a punch in!"
"Let's have a 1k up and flag that 350...just a little...good."
"You need to feed your crew. I say we break for lunch in fifteen."
"CUT!"
Yours,
I
If I were a bad habit I would...always punch random strangers in the face. Then I can say 'Sorry, it's a bad habit!'
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hhahahaha. It's even better reading those lines but hearing inari say them.
hilarious.
Post a Comment