Ramona the Brave

It's like one day I woke up and I was suddenly a C-Cup. It's bizarre how fast the elements of life change. Cells rapidly multiplying, the Earth constantly rotating on its axis. I almost wish I could feel the change at a more exponential degree - like really savor it. I want to see it move in slow motion so much that it makes my head spin. Nine one thousand little hairs standing up on my arms and back.

Sometimes even, when I'm real still, I think I can feel the Earth move underneath my feet. I feel it in my legs, my head. My balance, off-quilter for a mere moment. Like my head's hovering over my body and I see all that has changed. All that has changed so fast.

"Change is good." Isn't it? Even something that seems like a life-jolting disaster can end up being a blessing in disguise. Even death. I swear to God. I'm done with the "what ifs" and "if onlys." It's braver to live each day not worrying what could have been or what could be. I rather wake up and conquer each day and each challenge that comes in the short term, than constantly mindfucking myself with self-doubt.

I often wonder, however, if success'll come just as fast as the C-Cup - and just as sudden? One day will I wake up and be where I want to be after my 5 to 10 year plan? Somewhere fabulous where my life is my job and I love it?

I feel like I've discovered a few tactics on how to live my life more fully - how to deal with the wankers that impede on that process, and how to weed out the negative taint from all the wonder. Like I was telling Inari, there are little things we do in our everyday life that are little defense mechanisms. Life at it's most basic core is about survival right? So alot of what we do is to protect ourselves and those we love.

It's about bravery. I just want to be brave. Stare fear in the face and fuck it up, ya know?

xo Lo,

I just wrote another children's story... and if I could describe it in one word - "bravery."