Deadbeat Cookery - Vegetable Puree Soup

I've been reading and watching a lot of Nigella lately and, in between getting blindingly aroused by her British juiciness, I've been inspired to cook (check out her curves on the good ol' tube)

VEGETABLE PUREE SOUP

Last spring I went to see a naturopathic doctor to help me through what I thought was extreme stress brought on by a bad case of candida. She gave me a recipe for a detoxifying vegetable soup that was supposed to help 'cleanse' my system. The doctor turned out to be an overpriced quack and the soup tasted like hippie mush (though, in all fairness, it made me regular as clockwork...tmi?)

This recipe is inspired by the detox soup, modified for those of us who enjoy a bit of flavour along with their healthy bowel movements. It's dead easy, so go ahead and take another hit off that bowl before you start.

Ingredients: (all measurements pulled from my ass)

1 cup chopped up cabbage
2 medium-sized white potatoes, scrubbed, unpeeled and diced
1/2 medium-sized head of broccoli florets
1/2 medium-sized onion, diced
powdered split-pea soup stock to taste*

optional: garlic cloves, cream, cheese, cannabutter


1. Put all the chopped-up veggies in a big pot and cover with water. Add in the stock one tablespoon-full at a time, so the shit doesn't clump together. *I haven't specified the amount of stock to use, because it really depends on how much water you put in. Unless you're a picky little bitch, you won't mind tasting cold veggie water to determine how much flavour you want.

2. Bring to a boil.

3. Once it boils, turn the heat down to medium and give it a quick stir so nothing sticks to the bottom of the pot. The stock should have thickened the liquid by now. Let it bubble for a bit with the lid off until the potatoes feel slightly less rock-hard than when they were raw.

4. This step is a bit of a pain in the ass. Ladle the veg and stock into a blender and puree it. Your blender might not be big enough to hold all of the soup in one go, so a third recepticle will be needed to hold the pureed soup. You can always use a hand blender, but unless you have a good one, it won't be strong enough to tackle the potatoes and florets before it gives out. But hey, if technology is on your side, use it.

5. Serve the soup hot in bowls. You can garnish the top with hot sauce, parsley, oregano or, if you're feeling particularly premenstrual, some grated cheese.

6. Scoop up to mouth with spoon, taste, swallow, revel in the fact that you are not a complete waste of space if only because you can make a decent bowl of soup.



Yours,

I


If I could cook for Almanzo Wilder, I would die happy.