Girl, I like your biznessss

There's a lace curtain over my bedroom window, more like a veil really - and it's the kind of goldish tan as if aged with time. The blinds part slightly and I see the fuzzy incandescents like urban stars against the morning sky. Sad grey eyes with that hint of orange treasure and sunshine pink. I'm ready to watch the sunrise essentially which should happen any moment. Well, is happening at the moment.

I usually right lengthy fabricated stories based loosely on the things that more than often outrage or conflict or haunt me time and time again. Usually long and rather columnish essays if you will. Lately, however, I've been reflecting on those subtle inspirations that I encounter daily... observations that I make that (for lack of a less bible-finatic sounding phrase) - that I'm "thankful for."

I could not have asked for more of a lovely evening last night with G. I like our time together. It's comfortable, cathartic. Her face and/or voice does not fucking annoy me. I genuinely enjoy her company and volunteer to be around her because she's the kind of human being I admire. This is completely self serving BUT I actually feel better when I'm around her - like I'm not digressing but "BETTERING MYSELF.'' I don't like not using my time to do that. Double negative I know but I must for dramatic affect in order to stress the importance of what said double negative implies.

K it's 6:17 am. Time to get my ass out of bed and ready for the salt mines.

xo Lola.

I've nicknamed it already - "white heat." That's good. That's really REALLY good.