Shut your fucking mouth

Today is the National Day of Listening (I won't specify which nation). I am going to celebrate by locking myself in my room until I go see my therapist.

I've been keeping journals for a really long time. When I was younger, whenever my brother made me mad, I went into my room and wrote 'til the paper tore under the pencil. I hated my brother. He was a piece of shit. I can't tell you how many times I wrote down 'I hate **** so fucking much I want to fucking kill him'. If I were a boy, I probably would've gotten into a lot of fists fights. But I'm not. I wasn't. I was a girl. So I ripped paper and felt the bones in my head push against my skin until I could feel my blood pressure rising. I was eight. Seven. Nine. I wasn't even into two digits and I felt such profound rage, the kind that kills people inside out.

Don't you dare believe that women are liberated. They're only liberated on paper. Here is something that I truly believe: your sisters and your mothers and your wives and your girlfriends are WARPED. They have compound history weighing down on their brains, their husbands and fathers and mothers and friends slowly indoctrinating them to the point where they are fucking crippled by the mass of hysterical thought. Time has conditioned us to believe that we are inferior until that belief has become embedded into our genetic code. Now we are born insane.

Do you disagree with me? I walk down the street with my head down so I don't feel the overwhelming urge to spit on every passer-by. You fucking people turned me into what I am and now I have to undo everything while your forsake me for whatever fucking trinket you're after that day. You are all petty, selfish, ugly fucking people and I will hate you until either I die or this thought perishes. Fuck you. FUCK YOU.

i