Long live and live long

I love lists. I hold grudges. I write them down.

My list of the top ten comments I wish I had said in 2009:

10. You are among the worst people I have ever met and had I not been horny and lonely when we first met, I would've never become friends with you. You are an untalented, unfunny, ungrateful loser and I feel sick to my stomach for giving you the time of day. It was a momentary lapse in character on my part and it will never happen again.

9. I don't understand why you insisted on becoming something so artificial. I call it 'artificial' not out of malice, but because your transformation hurts me and leaves me with one less person to trust. I love you regardless.

8. You are cool. Your significant other is not.

7. There is no reason for me to disbelieve you when you say you are happy, except that I feel in my gut that you are not. Stop insisting that happiness is easy. If it were, then you and I wouldn't be the people we are, and I kind of like who we are, but only when we're genuine.

6. How can I measure how grateful I am to you? I can't. Thank you.

5. Shut up. Stop talking.

4. I want you to leave her alone, to be present and to notice how much of her you've let slip through your fingers. You're repeating the same mistakes you made with me and you're too fucking ignorant to see it. I hardly love you anymore.

3. Your helplessness and your lack of responsibility pisses me off. Why is it that you're only a good friend when you're drunk? I don't trust you one bit.

2. I stopped talking to you because I stopped talking to a lot of people this past year. Also, you're boring.

1. You mean a lot to me and the only thing I fear is that I'll grow to resent you as I have so many other people that I love. You were the best thing about 2009. I'll never tell you this because I'm afraid this will scare you.


Yours,

I


How can we expect a harvest of thought who have not had a seed time of character?
-H.D. Thoreau