How to knit.

There we were standing in the Dollar Emporium. In an isle that sells flashlights on one side and pregnancy tests on the other.

He was in a white tshirt, Fruit of the Loom with holes in the seems. And only a scarf flung around his neck to keep him warm. I was wearing my Zia Marie's petticoat. It was a size too big, but furry on the inside. It was winter afterall.

My eyes were focused on that scarf. So many little frays, so many bubbling loops where the needle strayed from pattern one too many times. Who made it, I wondered...

I couldn't take my eyes off of it. And not because it was beautiful, even though it was. It was because I couldn't raise my eyes. I couldn't meet his. A physical ethereal force wanted me to look up...and I was trying. He was going on about a time he bought prophylactics from an A&P and his mother found the receipt in the trash. So she snooped around his room, and behold, found the condoms in the first drawer she looked in.

"In a sock drawer at thirteen? How much of a cliche are you?" That's all I thought for a fleeting moment, but didn't dare say a word. I wanted the topic as far from anything that would make him think of my vagina. Or what I would look like without clothes on. Smell like... feel like...Oh Mother Mary help me.

He grabbed a yo-yo off the shelf. And finally we rounded the corner and there were the christmas decorations. I went on ahead, straight to the little glittery ornaments. I really did have a task.

Everything was made in Taiwan. But it was all I could afford. Plastic reindeer. Little horns. A holly green, or two. I had ten dollars that I took from the pocket of my father's Levi's earlier that morning.

I couldn't decide.

Finally, he came up beside me and put his hand on my shoulder, which I felt everywhere but.

He pointed over to the side, and picked up an ornament. A cherub.

Ha, cherubs. My mom used to pronounce them "cherUBE." I let out a giggle and put 5 in my basket. These would do.

"Who do you identify most with? Ebenezer Scrooge or Tiny Tim?"

It was out of nowhere, you see, but I just said it. The first thing that popped into my head.

He turns to me and says, “I’d consider myself a healthy balance of both.”

And then I knew.

And then he took me home.

But not my actual home.

xoLo

Whether it's my body, brain, or my craft, exercise makes me feel really good...