A million petals and a million more thorns

Do I have a rant in me? No, no, not really. Except to point out the obvious, which is that nobody is as special as they think they are. "I'm kind of weird." "Don't mind me, I'm crazy." "Everyone kind of looks at me funny..."

Everyone thinks they're weird. Well, you know what? You're not weird. You're blindingly normal. You're not special. You're just a boring, unoriginal j'moke. Just like the rest of us.

That's my main beef with hipster culture. It encourages people to think that they're cool and original and special collectibles. But none of us are cool or original without the benefit of hindsight. As long as we're alive, we're just going to be poor imitations of dead people.

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Shit I hate that I have absolutely no control over:

People who pay in dimes and nickels and say 'I just want to get rid of my change'

When someone says "It's so funny..." followed by something that isn't funny at all

People who decide to ask a whole slew of useless questions to the sole clerk working a store while a big line forms behind them

Childhood sweethearts who reunite in movies when they're adults like no time has passed at all

Mushrooms in lasagna

Coffee Time

Bookstores that have no databases (what the fuck are you good for???!)

Canvassers

Unsolicited advice

"Meh"

"Fair enough"

"So?"

"Whatever."

"Ok...."

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I'm watching 'Crank' at the video store right. I'm not totally paying attention to it, but it looks fucked. I didn't realize it was this fucked. I think I like more than I thought I would.

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Sushi

Fruit flies

Dogs on the street who won't let me pet them

Those fucking Greenpeace/Sick Kids/whatever other charity clipboard-holding assholes that break my stride

Nausea

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'Crank' is craaaaaaaaaazy. Honestly. Jason Statham, well-fucking-done. How many franchises does this asshole have? More than Guy Ritchie, that's for damn sure.

Haha.

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Beef stew made with potatoes baby carrots bay leaves chicken bouillon onions and maybe some Worcestershire Sauce if I can find it at midnight. Considering this is Toronto and you can smell bread baking at 2a.m...that shouldn't be a problem.

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What else is there to say? Nothing. Maybe I should just stop talking then.

K.

Yours,

I


If I were Jason Statham, I would....fuck you in the middle of Chinatown.