Monday, July 13, 2009

Everyone needs to drink more coffee and have more sex

Fuck, it's been a long time since I did some under-the-influence free-writing. I'm 100% sober right now, but that's not for lack of trying.

I dreamt last night that I had somehow been sent back as a seventh-grader, only with the full knowledge of everything that's happened in the past ten years. It didn't look like my elementary school and some of the people were definitely from later time periods, but the rush of it, the excitement of knowing exactly what to do...God, I woke up wanting nothing else. To re-do the last ten years. To take what was mine when it mattered, to tell people to fuck off, to know that all of those stupid insecurities didn't matter.

But then, ten years from now, am I going to want to re-do all of this? How do I channel my 30 year-old self and ask her what to do? I guess I'm just going to have to trust her.

Yours,

I


If I were a novel, I would be...a meandering epic that starts at the big bang and ends in a small room.

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