Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My soul is clean, my heart is pure...everything else is filthy as hell

Why do Suicide Girls get a monopoly of those righteous profiles? 'Cause they get paid to look gorgeous and naked? Fuck that shit. My SG profile:

Name: Lulu

Interests:

INTO...scribbling, chocolate chip cookies, tattoos, cotton undies, red envelopes, Japanese vending machines, melons, labradoodles, rare meat, submission

NOT INTO...long toenails, nasal voices, bossiness, mushrooms, anything loud that isn't grindcore underscored by bed springs

MAKES ME HAPPY...cookies, quiet, nice smiles, emoticons, inspiration, magic hour

MAKES ME SAD...boredom

HOBBIES...making the world a better place, one skinny white guy at a time ; )

5 THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT....water, air, love, peace, Nutella

VICES...arson, ganj and all the other little things that explain the second half of this post's title

THOUGHTS ON SG....I prefer my porn with less production value and more anal fisting, thank you very much : p

Personal:

OCCUPATION...poster bitch

CURRENT CRUSH...the sphincter monster <3

STATS...halfway between 'normal' and 'A+ Whitney'

BODY MODS...none yet, but give me time

HEROES...Amy Sedaris, Karen O

GETS ME HOT...math :p

SIGN...Scorrrrrrpio

MOST HUMBLING MOMENT...oh God. Every waking moment is like a lesson in humility.

I LOST MY VIRGINITY...when the wife was away : D Sssshh

CIGARETTES....are gross

MY DIET...hardcore carnivore covered in Nutella

ALCOHOL...meh

MY DRUG USE...daily and for the better, trust me

MY KINK FACTOR...tbd

MY POLITICS...I have none.

POT...Please!

MY STATUS...Super, thanks very much.

MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME...A good movie, some fresh pineapple and a warm, dreamless sleep

MY PIGEONHOLES...Asian fetish, supernerd


Kinktastically yours,

Inari


If I were a weird fetish, I would be...fishnets in cookie dough

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