7:49 p.m.

I've been wearing my glasses as of late and they make me look like a hipster intellectual, which is good, but they give me awful headaches, which is bad. Not that it matters because I get pretty bad headaches anyway because of the stress, which is worse. What if I have a brain tumor? I'm not a hypochondriac, I just worry. I don't think it's a tumor because I hardly use my cell phone (were those studies ever conclusive? Did I ever read those studies? Were there studies conducted?) Apparently I'm notorious for not picking up my phone. It's just because I'm bad with them. Telephones, I mean. It's just such an awkward way to talk to someone. How can you have a comfortable silence on a phone? A conversation without a comfortable silence is no conversation at all...it's just chatter.

Adele says that I might be unhappy because I'm surrounded by friends who make me feel like an outsider. I think she has a point. I often choose friends who are different from me and I always get a strange satisfaction from being on the outside of the action. "But," she said "that gets old, fast." And it's true. It does. The thing is, I still like them. Hell, I still love some of them. But they hurt me and they keep hurting me. I'm not good at severing ties. I'm only good at letting them dissolve.

I'm listening to 'Empty Houses Are Lonely' and I want to move to North Dakota. What is with North Dakota and its population of extremely cool people? Ok, so I only know of Tom Brosseau and Chuck Klosterman, but their coolness outweighs the fact that there are only two of them. Besides, what is the population of North Dakota? Like, 80? Sweet monkeys. I didn't mean that to disrespect North Dakota. I think I read on Wikipedia that it has one of the lowest population densities of any of the states. It's all fact, I swear.

I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep and never wake up. I feel like an old lady. No, I feel like I did when I was in the hospital, only it doesn't hurt as much to bend. Maybe the early sunsets are messing up my internal clock. Maybe I'm a narcoleptic (I'm not a hypochondriac, I just worry). I should stop. I'm going to lie down.

Soporifically yours,

Inari


If I were a pantry item, I would be....a half-eaten jar of Nutella.