he said, babe, you're just a wave, you're not the water

I'm having one of those sleepless nights where I lye awake and let my mind take me to the wildest planes of my imagination. I'm actually having one of those sleepless weeks where my mind is constantly on, constantly dreaming up new situations, and analyzing those that already exist with a fine tooth comb.

With Inari off to San Diego and Desiree and I with hectic schedules... I have not so surprisingly embraced being alone, regardless of the dark and painful places it may lead me.

Anyhow. I have been alone with my thoughts and it has been a lovely visit thus far.

Although lately I have taken on this front that I am in a period of my life where I have the inability to "like" boys... I have actually realized that this is only true to some degree. Once in a while a boy or two comes along that strikes a cord. No, I don't "like" like these boys, but I do want to get to know them and what they believe, perhaps because it is so different from what I stand for, or perhaps because passion is a major turn on, and passion is what they've got.

Side Note: I have been going to church a lot lately and its making me feel more up and ready for life. I am not a "churchy" person but I do claim to be "spiritual". Something comes over me when I am there... as if when I pray... something, someone, somewhere is listening. I know they are. I've also been digging a lot of William Blake lately. I recommend spiritual exploration. It's right-sexy.

I am going to conclude, (rather) focus the next stage of my entry on the very purpose I decided to write in the first place tonight. I want to share with you some profound quotes that I came across as I was conducting copious amount of script research the past few days at work. These are some that struck a cord with me and the tangles of my heart.

“Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk- real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.”
-- Jack Kerouac

“Take one fresh and tender kiss
Add one stolen night of bliss
One girl, one boy, some grief,
some joy Memories are made of this.”
-- Johnny Cash

"I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some happy news,
but she just smiled and turned away.
And the three men I admire most,
The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost,
They caught the last train to the coast
The day the music died."
-- Don McLean, "American Pie"

"Not being beautiful was the true blessing... Not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner resources. The pretty girl has a handicap to overcome.”
-- Golda Meir

“Why did I allow myself to be bored ever in the past and to compensate for it got high or drunk or rages or all the tricks people have because they want anything but serene understanding of just what there is, which is after all so much.”
- Jack Kerouac

"…maybe it’s the time of year. Yes, and maybe it’s the time of man.
And I don’t know who I am. But life is for learning."
-- Joni Mitchell

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
--The Dead Poet's Society

And lastly...

"To make an impact, you have to go to extremes."
-- Drive Me Crazy (yes the Melissa Joan Hart movie with Adrian Grenier)

This past weekend I discovered I am one hell of a screamer.
Sayonara & Sweet Dreams.

- xoxo,
Lola Anarcha N.


If I were any American historical event I'd be: WOODSTOCK


p s. my sister told me this morning, that she woke up to the sound of my mom's shuffling slippers and dusting mop. I believe she was there.
...I'm going to try to fall asleep now, praying as I do every night, that she visits me in a dream.