Writing Letters to the Dead.

Happy Friday the 13th Lo-vers!

My intention was not to check my horoscope this morning when I logged onto my rather slow connection to Modzilla Firefox, but rather to Google image mermaid pictures. Apparently I needed an Astology.com fix and when I clicked on “Libra” I was not only happily satiated but inspired!

Think what you may. I read my horoscope. I eat the cookie for the fortune and I believe in what the Psychic who lived above a Subway Restaurant said about my future…
That said; here she is:

Libra:
You have wonderful ideas inside of you, so go deep and grab one of them today! The more far-fetched, the better -- people have been waiting for you to bust out with something unexpected (like you used to do all the time!). Get back together with your old self and integrate them back into your present life more. Just because you grow past a certain phase of life doesn't mean you should leave everything about it behind you. Take the healthy, positive stuff and bring it back into who you are, now.

Sometime ago – circa 2005-ish – I stopped doing certain things I loved and which were very much a part of my identity. I lost interest in painting and drawing and writing poetry. These are loves I did quite frequently – and quite frequently I did them as little sentiments of my appreciation for other people. These were my own personal letters to friends and family.
Something inside me however died -- sending these passions of mine into a deep and heavy hibernation. During this hiatus I transformed this way and that way – in every direction – some wrong some right – most necessary – all mind blowing.

Last summer, these passions started to awaken… very slowly… and definitely surely. Lately (during my time off) I’ve indulged in these activities and interests in varying doses of satisfaction and it’s pumping the blood into my veins at a rate of an all-time-high.

I’m feeling very awake, regardless of my border-line-insomniac sleeping patterns. Suddenly I have the attention span to read a book in a sitting, watch many television episodes in a row and to just sit and enjoy listening to a radio program in its entirety → all things I used to be able to do so easily but then became hard after the dead of winter 2005.
(Side-note: If I’m being cryptic or losing myself in my thoughts I apologize.)

My point here -- is that my horoscope raises a very fantastic point. In our one lifetime – our identity transforms many times, such that in each phase of our life we can very much be a completely different person – we can LOOK like a completely different person and take on different personalities, invest our time in different mantras and execute ridiculous routines. We can also be attracted to very different people and mates. (This obviously affects what we do and how we act).
As a whole, this transformation can unfold over a period of many years, it can happen overnight, or it can be triggered by joys, heartaches or those fuckin devastations that rip the skin from our flesh and leave us to bleed out all of our blood. Personally, I can relate most with the latter - the skin-ripping one.
On that note, we experience a transfusion post-blood loss; thus new blood enters our body and we start the new of our identity – arguably neither for the better or for the worse – but for the different. With all these experiences I would think all the change is actually a benefit to one’s (my) maturity – and hence one’s (my) ever-expanding wisdom.

But wait. I’m not done explaining myself. Regardless of the transfusion, some of your original blood remains. So with your new blood and old blood – you are able to live newly – and hopefully post trauma – you are able to live more fully. I therefore take my passions and memories of the past and use them in what I do. Although this was a Libra horoscope I present it to all of you to think about and reflect on your very own phases of YOU that have transpired throughout the years.
Again:
Just because you grow past a certain phase of life doesn't mean you should leave everything about it behind you. Take the healthy, positive stuff and bring it back into who you are, now.

My only horoscope edit: Beware of this term “healthy” and this term “positive.” I may seem like a perky light-bulb of optimism – it doesn’t mean I can’t be morbid as hell. I think (sometimes,) bad is good… just be aware of this piece of gold.

Alas, this wasn’t a very “sexy” post – but that’s why we’re SEXLESS in the city ☺
Ok. I must return to my painting, my drawing - and thus all of my other letters to the dead.

Adios Muchachos,
Xoxo
LO.

Currently Obsessed with: Kite Flying
Spending much of my time: Writing children’s poetry.
Wanting to learn more on: The NRDC (its all about getting Green people).
Dreaming about and longing for: Someone I’ll never see again and Someone I’ve never met before.

If I were an object found in Mr. Dress Up’s treasure chest I would be:
A kite handmaid from China
… or some sort of mermaid costume.